In my work as a Board-Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA), I’ve seen that for neurodivergent children with developmental disabilities like autism, Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and sensory disorders, preparing for a new school can be even more challenging.
Here are a few tips I’ve learned along the way to help create a smoother transition for you and your child, while also setting them up for academic and social success this upcoming school year and beyond.
You know your child best
Tackling big life changes like a new school is not a one size fits all approach. Before you make a plan, it’s important to first acknowledge the “triggers” that might set off your child’s anxiety, such as eating lunch in a new cafeteria or getting changed for gym class. This upfront work will help you and your child make a plan that fits his or her own unique needs.
Some kids thrive when they have all the details and plenty of lead time to process a new environment and expectations. In this case, you might consider touring the school before the first day and doing a mock walkthrough of their schedule so they know where their locker, cafeteria, and classes are, and how much time they have to get there. You can also use scripting to verbally talk through a timeline of the first day to set clear expectations.
If you can’t physically visit the school, consider a virtual tour or watch YouTube videos of other children going to a new school for the first time. Watching other children experience a similar scenario will give you the chance to see how your child responds to the videos. You can ask how they’re feeling so you can identify their biggest fears and formulate a plan to address them.
Some children with autism don’t learn as well through imitation because they may struggle generalizing a situation, so writing a story together about their first day at the new school can be very effective. Former teacher Carol Gray offers great resources about how to write what she refers to as a “Social Story,” which is an evidenced-based intervention tool to support children preparing for a new or complex situation.
Kids with developmental disabilities may also benefit from visuals, like a calendar that they can use to countdown the days until school starts. You can make it fun by letting them cross off each day with a colorful marker or a sticker that they choose.
For kids who are prone to higher anxiety, too much prep work can actually backfire. Talking through expectations and visiting the school might cause extra stress and make the transition even harder for both the child and parent. In this situation, put less emphasis on the first day being a “big day” or what a “new routine” will look like.
Regardless of your approach, spend time this summer teaching your child practical and simple coping skills to use when they feel anxious or uncomfortable. For example, deep breathing, journaling, and positive self-talk such as “This is new, but I’m safe” can help calm nerves.
Connect transitions with positivity
When discussing the upcoming transition with your child, it’s okay to be honest and tell them that it might be a little scary. You can help tame those fears by connecting the transition with something positive and fun, like asking them how they would like to celebrate after the first day of school.
If possible, introduce your child over the summer to peers that will be in their classes or attending the same school, so they can see a familiar face on the first day. Be sure to remind them that other kids are likely experiencing some of the same emotions.
Giving your child the opportunity to meet new teachers in advance can also help ease first day jitters while giving them the chance to ask questions like “Where will I sit?”, ”How often will I have to do homework?”, “How do I ask to go to the restroom?”
Create a support network
Schedule a one-on-one meeting with new teachers in advance to highlight your child’s strengths, challenges, and possible sensory issues. Share strategies that your child responds well to so that the teacher knows what works and what doesn’t.
You can also help your child develop a network of people beyond their day-to-day teachers, such as the librarian, principal, counselor or music teacher, so they know they have a variety of people at school they can count on for support.
Assess how you feel
Kids aren’t the only people that experience a wide range of emotions during life transitions. As a parent, I know firsthand what it’s like to be anxious or sad about saying goodbye to a known routine and chapter in your child’s life. That’s why it’s so important to validate and navigate your own feelings about this milestone. Be aware of how your emotions might impact your child, especially for those who are highly empathetic and might react to your mood shifts.
Often children will benefit from seeing you normalize scary feelings and then model your healthy behavior. You might say something as simple as, “These transitions are hard, it’s new for me too, and I’m feeling a little uneasy and curious, but I think I’ll talk to some of my friends who might be feeling this way too.”
It all comes back to knowing your child and how they respond to change. Be sure to set realistic expectations and know that a few bumps at the start of the school year are perfectly normal for any child. Reflect together on what’s working, adjust strategies as necessary, and celebrate small wins. Finally, remember that you’re not alone in this journey.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Angela Nelson, Ed.D, BCBA, specializes in working with parents raising children and teens with learning, social, and behavioral challenges. She holds a doctorate in education from the University of Southern California, master’s degree in counseling from California State University, Northridge, a bachelor’s degree in psychology from UCLA, and is a Board-Certified Behavior Analyst.
Read the article here.